Festerella

Performed at MSF 2001 by Cathy Concannon

With My Own Little Shovel

 (Tune – “In My Own Little Corner”)

Wilth my own little shovel

And my own pail of lime

I can pee wherever I want to pee.

 

Do I Come Here Because I Lost My Mind

(Tune – “Do I Lovve You Because You’re Beautiful”)

Do I come here because I lost my mind

Or have I lost my mind because I come here?

 

Impassable

(Tune – “Impossible”)

Impassable!  Impassable!

The road in here, it was impassable

Impassable!

For a poor Saturn L Class to maintain its undercarriage

Impassable!

Why the thought of driving in here is one people should disparage.

But these woods are filled with Festers and fools

Who don’t believe in sensible driving rules

And won’t obey what their mechanics say

But because Uncle Fester cares about you

He hired a special road repair crew

And that Impassable road is now a Super Highway!

 

Alternatives:

And because these reckless starry-eyed folk

Want to camp here with these maples and oaks

Impassable roads are travelled every day!

 

But becasue this reckless starry-eyed crew

Will do anything Ian tells them to do

Impassable roads are travelled every day!

 

But this year you’ll save your shocks and your struts

There’s a beach full of sand to fill in the ruts

And that impassable road is now a Super Highway!

 

Ten Mintues Ago

(Tune – “Ten Minutes Ago”)

Ten minutes ago I came here

People smiled as they said their Hellos

Now it’s dark and I’m cold and a story’s been told

While I’m shivering here in the woods.

I hear music, is that chanting?

Now I’m lead to a man in a robe.

Do these people worship Satan?

If I run can I get to the road?

 

Ten minutes ago I came here

Thinking I could survive in the wood

But now I feel sure that if Piglet and Pooh came

They’d roast Piglet right where he stood!

Yes, they’d road Piglet right where he stood!