Who's on BreakFest?

A Virgin Travesty 2003

Anne and Julien Lafleur

A (walking on stage): Nice talking you to' umm'  See you later!  (To Julien) Hey Lou, how's it going?

J: All right, Bud, how about you?

A: I'm doing okay, except I'm having a terrible time learning everybody's name here at Midsummerfest.  Do you think you could help me?

J: Well, I'm Duty Roster Monitor. I can tell you who's doing which chores tomorrow.  But I have to warn you, Festers have some strange names.

A: Funny names?

J: Nicknames, pet names, like Ackbar and Blackout and Tigger '

A: And Flipper.

J: Yeah, and don't forget her husband.

A: Her husband?

J: Ian Dowell.

A: (laughs)

J: Yep. Now let's see' meals, tomorrow' Who's on Breakfast, What's on Lunch, and I Don't Know's on Dinner.

A: Yep, that's what I want to find out.

J: I said Who's on Breakfast, What's on Lunch, and I Don't Know's on Dinner.

A: So, you know their names?

J: Of course!

A: Well then' Who's on Breakfast?

J: Yes.

A: I mean the Fester's name.

J: Who.

A: The guy making breakfast.

J: Who.

A: The breakfast-maker, tomorrow morning.

J: Who.

A: The person getting up early tomorrow to make us all breakfast!

J: Who is making breakfast.

A: What are you asking me for?

J: I'm telling you, Who is making breakfast.

A: And I'm asking YOU, who's making breakfast?

J: That's his name.

A: That's whose name?

J: Yes.

A: Well, go ahead and tell me.

J: Who.

A: The guy on breakfast.

J: Who.

A: The person who's going to put the muffins out.

J: Who is putting out the muffins.

A: [sighs] Do you have someone signed up for breakfast?

J: Yes.

A: Who signed up?

J: Well' yes.

A: When you check someone off for doing breakfast tomorrow, who's going to get credit?

J: Of course! Why shouldn't he?

A: Why shouldn't who?

J: Exactly.

A: All I'm trying to find out is, what's the name of the guy making breakfast tomorrow.

J: Hang on. Don't get confused. What's the name of the girl doing lunch tomorrow.

A: We're not talking about who's making lunch.

J: Who's making breakfast.

A: I don't know.

J: He's making dinner' but we're not talking about him.

A: How'd we get onto dinner?
J: You mentioned his name!

A: If I mentioned the name of the person making dinner, who, did I say, is making dinner?

J: No, Who's making breakfast.

A: Never mind breakfast! I wanna know what's the guys name making dinner.

J: No, what's the person making lunch.

A: I'm not asking you who's on lunch.

J: Who's on breakfast.

A: I don't know.

J: He's on dinner.

A: Aaagh! Could we just stick with dinner and not go off it?

J: Okay. What was it you wanted?

A: Who is making dinner?

J: Why do you keep thinking Who's making dinner?
A: Why? I keep thinking who's making dinner?

J: Yes, but he didn't sign up for it.

A: What's the guy's name making dinner?

J: No, What's on lunch.

A: I'm not asking you who's on lunch!

J: Who's on breakfast.

A: I don't know.

J: Dinner!

A: You are no help at all. All I wanted to know is who's on breakfast, what's the person doing lunch, and I still don't know what's happening with dinner. But at this point, I really don't care. (stomps away)

J: What did you say?

A: I don't care!

J: Oh, she's on clean up.

(WILD APPLAUSE!!!!!!)